an ode to girl dinner
Since the invention of Al Gore’s internet, online girlies have attempted to define “womanhood” in their own unique, but trendy, way. The most recent iteration of this concept has been through the “girl dinner trend” on Tik Tok. For those of you not on mid-twenty-year-old-woman Tik Tok (or who don’t have a partner constantly blasting the app at night), girl dinner is a trend where young women show their usually comical dinner and proclaim it as the girl dinner.
These dinners range from a jar of pickles with cheese and crackers, to half an ice cream cake, or even the infamous butter pasta. The actual definition of girl dinner is whatever suits the narrative for that day. A common theme with girl dinner is the use of what one may consider a variety of snack foods. Think charcuterie, without the elegance. Even in the original video, Tik Tok user Olivia Maher referred to her girl dinner consisting of bread and cheese as “medieval peasant”-esq. Don’t be confused though, because girl dinner can also be an entire stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut, or a Raisin’ Canes combo with extra Canes sauce.
I have a particular fondness for girl dinner because it harkens back to my childhood when I would spend time with my mom. As a child of divorce in the early 2000s, I am in many ways shocked I made it this far with the amount of red dye 40 flowing through my veins. Dinners were pretty different in each house. My father was not the best cook when I was a young child. As you could imagine, meals at my fathers house were commonly the items heavily marketed to families in the early 2000s. Most dinners consisted either Spaghettios, frozen lasagna, or the ultimate man meal, Manwiches. Although these meals were not part of a totally balanced diet, he would at least attempt to make one main dish and two sides so it vaguely resembled balance.
By contrast, dinner at my moms was a bit more freestyle. As a single mother reentering the workforce, we would get take out more often at my moms house than my dads. Outback’s Bloomin’ Onions and Chili’s Molten Lava Cakes were the absolute highlights of my week. Even when she cooked, the sides were a bit more copy-pasted together. Think a proper roast dinner with Ritz Crackers, shredded cheese on top of Saltines with chicken breast and a peach on the side. Some of my fondest memories are of my mom, brother, and I on the couch sharing a container of icing after one of these “girl dinners”. I have many memories of my mom eating her meals over the sink as she attempted to do another task. I catch myself replicating this habit often during the workweek as I eat lunch, put away dishes, and listen in on a Zoom call.
Since this trend started, many have critiqued it as the promotion of disordered eating. I will not say that I have not seen some concerning posts, but I think the spirit of girl dinner is deeper than that. In part the trend was ignited by the recent resurgence of charcuterie and tinned fish. When the internet can make something as simple as food an accessory, it is easy to see why women want to show off their personal style via their outlandish dinners. I think it is more of a deconstruction of the nuclear family idea.
Perhaps the most idyllic image of dinner comes from Norman Rockwell’s painting Freedom From Want. The painting is part of a series of four inspired by Franklin D. Roosevelt's State of the Union Address entitled The Four Freedoms. These four freedoms included:
Freedom of speech
Freedom of worship
Freedom from want
Freedom from fear
The American Dream falls somewhere between those four freedoms, and we conjure a very specific image that looks something like Rockwell’s painting. The issue is, we live here (I am assuming my audience is probably in the United States too), and many of our tables don’t look anything like the feast depicted.
Sometimes there isn't a matriarch to organize the household. Many of our mothers and caregivers worked full time jobs and simply did the best they could. As more and more women reject the idea of having children and getting married, where does this idyllic depiction of the American Dream fit? I think this is truly where Girl Dinner shines, it is a way to show independence and gusto.
Many of these videos simply translate to “Hey I’m doing it! I am feeding myself!”, and for many of these young single women balancing bills, work, and potentially school, that truly is an accomplishment. It is a way to break through the modern versions of Freedom From Want that are presented to us daily via mommy bloggers and instagram models with full time chefs. We are building solidarity through the gremlin meals. So have your three servings of Pizza Rolls with a side of cauliflower, relish in your hot cheetos and Costco rotisserie chicken. Fulfill your deepest hedonistic desires one dinner at a time, because even though these may be girl dinners, you are a grown ass woman.
